P robably nowhere near where I am now... but some 4 years ago the direction of our lives changed. With a simple sentence... the doctor's words... our lives completely changed. An angel was dropped into our life.
The following video is an excerpt from a documentary that I hope the world sees. I hope the ENTIRE world sees this. It made me think about where my life was headed before our doctor said those words to us... Down's Syndrome (in the US it is Down syndrome).
I was in the hospital ward proudly watching as the doctor was examining Little Poppet before what I was hoping would be the approval to go home. It isn't that I don't like hospitals... it's that I HATE them. I wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed and not have 3 other babies in the room with their Mum's and Dad's and goodness! brothers and sisters!
There was a student nurse that had asked if she could basically give us a survey for her work to become a nurse practitioner sitting beside me and I was absolutely beaming with pride. The gorgeous little girl in the cot next to me was mine... ours... and I was so happy. For one thing, we were so sure she was going to be a he that I was tickled pink, literally!
The doctors were looking at her and very hushedly speaking so I asked them if something was wrong. They wanted to wait and have the Paediatric Head come examine her rather than they tell me. I very politely (we British are polite you see) explained that I'd rather know than not know so please tell me... so they did. They said there were some things that made them think our perfect baby was in their eyes, not perfect.
I had a most unusual reaction to their words. For one, my husband was on his way there so I had this information thrown at me by myself. The seemingly now invisible student nurse made her way out of the room barely noticeable... and the photographer was also told not to visit me. Instantly the faces of the people surrounding me went from smiles to averted glances or pitying condolences.
In less than a minute it felt like the room shrank. Many people will tell you that they grieved the child they thought they were going to have in the first hours and days of finding out before that grief was replaced by amazing joy and love. That isn't what happened to me. I never grieved anything about her. I had held her the entire day before. She was an angel and I already knew it. Nothing they said made me think any less of her and she hadn't changed. She was still the beautiful little girl I held all day the day prior and I had already felt the amazing power that she had... tiny, titch little thing but there was something you could just feel when you held her.
What I did cry about is that I worried that people wouldn't realise how amazing she was and that they'd miss that because of a label that they were trying to put on her. So, I didn't grieve a loss of something I'd hoped for... I had what I'd hoped for, a beautiful baby. A gift from God... what I grieved was what others would think of her. And that is what I cried about that day. I cried for what the rest of the world would potentially lose if they chose to reject her.
The midwife that delivered her came to see me the next day to say she'd heard and how sorry she was for me. I am very thankful that I said what I said, especially with what I've learned since... but I told her there was no need to be sorry, she was the same baby that she delivered and she was still just as beautiful and I loved her just as much. She was actually a lovely midwife and I know she meant no harm at all.
So, where were we headed? The Mr. and I are different people now. I was shy, I was very close to God (or so I thought), I led worship at church and prayed for people. I wrote teachings for the worship team and thought you could never have too many pairs of shoes...
But we thought we were good Christians. We went to church, we loved music and worship and I did my art and things and the Mr. worked long hours and played guitar and cycled. We weren't necessarily going down the wrong path, we just weren't going down the right path. We were what we used to consider good Christian people.
But in the blink of an eye... that changed. Initially you could say we turned down the academic pathway, learning everything we could about Down's Syndrome. And of course, we printed it all out and handed it out to family members lol. Just in case they ever thought they would come near our perfect child, they needed to read the 2,000 page manual.
We had lists of things they test for and worried because no one had suggested we have them. Fact is, she was perfectly healthy and she didn't need all of that. If I'm honest, ours has not been difficult in regards to health. We have allergies to contend with, and not to trivialise those, but that is all we've had to manage.
After awhile, though... we stopped printing things out and we learned about Reece's Rainbow. We saw the video of the Serbian Institutions that literally broke our hearts. We wept when we saw it. I think that is what we grieved the most. Seeing how children that are deemed imperfect are thrown away for the same reason the doctors and nurses in our hospital changed how they looked at our baby.
It is the sort of thing that as the shy person I was couldn't look at before. I wouldn't even let someone tell me about an animal that was hurt let alone a child. But now I saw these children and I couldn't look away. I had to watch it because I needed to know what fate my daughter escaped by being born British.
Whether there was any strength within me prior to that day or not, my daughter gave me the strength that day and every day since to do the work that I do with Reece's Rainbow.
When I first saw the video and read about the existence they 'live' until they escape to Heaven, my heart broke, shattered into a million pieces... and they haven't been put together the same... we will never be the same. I've said it before but there isn't really any other way to say it... we've been ruined for this world. We know God's heart for orphans... at least a glimpse of it anyway. We long for families for the children in orphanages and institutions around the world.
And when I saw the Reece's Rainbow web site that first year, God put an image in my head... a tree. Significant I suppose if you are a Christian... the tree and Christmas... but this tree was the Angel Tree. The logo made into a tree. I can't take credit for designing it, I only put it on paper so to speak after God put it in my head. He does that sometimes. So, I made it and emailed it to Andrea. That was the door opening to the new path we were now on. One that may have different twists and turns but one we are sure we will not part from.
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| 2010 Angel Tree Graphic |
My husband makes it so that I can work as much as possible on things for RR and the adopting families. He cooks for us almost every night. He even makes my lunches so I don't have to make them during the day. That way, if I need to do some work during the day, I can do it at that time. Little Poppet is first priority... but then the orphans are next. And it isn't just for those precious children that I'm working... it is for my daughter and your children and any other children with Down's Syndrome. Because if I stand by and do nothing whilst other countries are throwing away their precious children, how long before they do this in my own country? How long before they do it in your country?
Just in case you haven't heard this yet, Andrea of Reece's Rainbow is the recipient of the 2010 Congressional Angel In Adoption Award. More news on that to come... It was also her birthday on Tuesday so Happy Birthday, Andrea! You can still donate to her birthday wish if you haven't yet (I think)!
I'm so proud of Andrea and all she's done... all I do is make pictures and promote what she is doing... and I'd not have it any other way.
Enjoy this video, if it doesn't play for you here, double click it to watch it on youtube. You may want to do that anyway so you can SHARE this everywhere you are able! Let's get the TRUTH out there!

















































































